- Note to Self -

 

 

...an inkling

unsteady

faint

dim

dim

dim

dim



- Note to Self -

"What do you want from me"

"Absolutely nothing"

...his response expected, but not

at the same time.

 

We haven't spoken in quite some time

but he'd reach out

sending glimmers of hope

that lead to smoke.

 

Why didn't he understand

that no matter what it was

that kept us apart,

I still loved him.

 

so much.

 

I'm complex

As is he

But I speak

He sweeps

I'm fragile

He's steel

even his eyes

But I loved that about him

even if it'd ice me

sometimes

often.

 

...it's good to be different

but not to hurt

one another.

 

The cool to my hot

icing me over

with a word

a look

a nothing.

- Note to self -

 

 

...this wreck stallion

perfection

sparks a loom

weaving a tale

so black

so thick
longing the sky

for flight from

a glittered tar

wet with grief

blues, bark and pleas

 

his drupelet heart

so deep, so sweet

rare, they like

to eat
slow

mouths filled with gloom

they grin

with glimmers dripping

their chins

chins

chins

 

Dark flames

fire his blood

hot black

he sees not

himself

but another

in this ebon-pond

staring back

with pale souls

open

for them to see

this countdown

to his cherry top

frozen

in all his jewels

a night-lumen-kaleido-pitch

silking ...

Kat Graham - All Your Love

...tell me what it feels like

what it looks like...

because I no longer

remember the feeling...

___________________________________

A woman

with long blonde hair

long to the floor
sits nude

in a birdcage

inside my head.

She lay

on a garnet, chaise lounge

the floor, black

the cage, gold

who is she....and what does she want?

I've seen her face many times

only when she's angry

and when she is,

she rushes her surround, grasps the bars,

 and violently shakes her prison.

Who is she?

mascara dripping down her face

she's beautiful

a lovely red mouth
blonde eyes

she tires and collapses the ground

canary, canary
canary, canary
 in my head
canary
circling my mind

waiting for her key
canary

Who is she?

to fly free...

Florrie - Real Love

...I danced with you all week

tipping the thought of us, 

your hands on my shoulder.

confession:

I like things

that are no good for me

addicted to the ones

with one wing 

and no reflection.

That being said,

I know where we stand

And I'll be sure to say

there is no "us"

even though 

they all 

always come back

for more

of me.

You're not the first

and for the first time

I'm the one in red

leading you astray

hot-leaded

with mal intentions.

Run from me

Run

Run from my spiders

and red velvet,

because

I don't even know

what I want anymore

or better yet,

how I want it...

Coldplay - Hymn For The Weekend

...they've been searching for a while now

waiting eons to find him,

the one

to serve their King.

Walking for centuries

their feet never tire

effortlessly gliding

'cross the Earth,

their eyes awake

their minds open.

Spinning into being,

they find 

a wilting body in stone

and know it's him

white-winged

on the edge.

He knows nothing 

of himself

or his fate...

and they take him

wash him

teach him

love him...

Purity Ring - Begin Again

...bath on, per usual

my deluge surges

through the faucet

hot like I like

foamed like I like

I lay

ribboned in wet

I close my eyes

and slip under

a chardonnay float

by my side

just in case, of course

I do this thing

a melody on repeat

til I see every lick, vocable

til I see his voice, his face

and my own bow-tie

white, with a large pearl

at its knot

I drift along

wishing of swords

hoping of apples

gilded over for my own pleasure

horned for black feathers

and velvet beaks

I swan,

dreaming of that peak

wishing of that peak

hoping for that peak

in the foggy distance

far, far away...

-Note to Self-

...I thought I tamed you.

Time wasted on

one-winged birds

and wicked foxes...

showering you,

glassing you in

only to protect your 

fickle flame.

Listen closely and believe

when I tell you

the birds will come tonight

and make me see again

follies fading

for the first time...

Dumblonde - Remember Me

...sometimes it's jumbled

in colors 

we don't understand,

colors we've never even seen before

and the stories change

when we feel like it.

Remembering only what we want.

So tell me your version.

Please

I know it's different from mine

because lions don't lie.

What color did you see?

Do you remember the texture, pattern

of that memory?

Possibly

Maybe

Not

So vivid, vivid

so vivid.

Take me as the one

who warned you that your flame

could not be held.

Take me as the one

who made you smile. 

The one

you sang to.

I wanted to listen, but I wasn't the one

and so you've turned me into the

faintest rainbow

and I wonder 

wonder,wonder

if that's how you'll

remember me...

Taylor Swift - Wildest Dreams

...I thought, for the longest time

this was my movie.

Clearly it wasn't.

I thought I was in control

and the explosion that came

left me in the dark

only wanting more.

An emotional affair,

when we were on 

we were on.

Was it simply just acting?

I don't know...

And though I knew

of your chains

And knew of your shadows

and skeletons

I fell in love

still

thinking I was your key

How shaded your eyes were

nothing behind them

nothing in them

but my voice would make you glow

and I could catch a glint

in their deep

that showed promise 

and begged for help.

I tried to grasp you

and for a while it worked

But I think the warmth of it all

became too much and you folded

into your shell

into your dark

and you decided not to know

not to care

not to show...

Red Velvet - Be Natural

...the smile on my face,

the look I give you

when you enter the room,

the things I say,

the nervous shift

I make

because of you

you're the spider 

and I'm the fool 

flecked in pyrite

ready to get caught...

Liz Phair - Why Can't I

....it would be nice to hear your voice...

late summer, August birth...a full moon on.

I gleam in waking next to you.

feeling so sure and other times even more so

holding my breath

for years 

on-end...

-Note to Self-

...I'm not sure

if fate or destiny is real.

But I can tell you that sometimes

the very thing you've been hoping for

will walk through the door,

determined to fend you off.

And still,

somehow,

you will find that you are enough...

Ciara - Dance Like We're Making Love

...it was quick

tepid and wet

this four day affair.

You said it would be easy

falling in love with me

if you stayed.

And you're right..

I'd fall in love with me too.

Making light of my laugh

and elf ears

I was glad to be yours

if only for 96 hours.

The time never mattered

and I don't think it ever will

ghosting past

our transient skin

involved

in a dim suite...



Marina and the Diamonds - Blue

 

...azure, aqua, cerulean, sky

indigo, cobalt, baby, midnight

turquoise, teal, Cambridge and denim

maya, powder, royal, so cyan

 

another try

you float my mind

you know my color

I want no other...

 

azure, aqua, cerulean, sky

indigo, cobalt, baby, midnight

turquoise, teal, Cambridge and denim

maya, powder, royal, so cyan...

 



Tove Lo - Timebomb

..."Tell me something good about your life", I whispered, 

needing to hear that he wasn't as broken 

as I thought him to be.

He breathed into the handset for about two minutes.

I began wondering if he was about to hang up,

or had fallen asleep,

but then he answered.

"You"

It was so quiet I almost didn't hear it.

And then he hung up before I could ask him

to repeat himself.

I fell asleep, grinning, the phone still clutched in my hand,

and my milk souring on the coffee table...

-Note to Self-

...it's a good day to travel

I'm lucky i am

excited and nervous 

all at once...

-Note To Self-

I dreamt about you again.

I dream about you often...

along with my first girlfriend...

It's odd I know.

In this instance,

we were talking on the phone

and it felt so good to hear your voice.

You were smiling

as was I

And a feeling overcame me

feeling so sure, so confident

so happy

about us.

It's odd

because something is happening

this very moment

and things will change,

but it seems

that in the front of my mind

I still want you with me...

___________________________________

...sometimes I think about my wedding
the face is a blur, but I can almost make him out
orchids and ivy
chandeliers hanging at various heights
candles aglow
full moon
a harp
slowdance...